An alternative football universe, where Felt's 'Textile Ranch' is the theme music to the TV highlights programme. A selection of the author's favourite actual, modified and invented football clubs compete in league and cup competitions free from advertising hype, cheating and corruption.
Monday, 18 May 2015
Saturday, 16 May 2015
Matchday 30 Results & Updated Tables
Championship
Audenshaw Dynamo 4 Hungaria 3
Blyth Spartans 2 Marlow 0
Gainsborough Trinity 8 Matlock Town 1
Hartlepool United 5 Red Star
Sunderland 0
Liverpool St Helens 5 Burnley 0
Oxford Excelsior 3 Northwich Victoria 1
Stalybridge Celtic 2 Manchester City 2
Wrexham 5 Mossley 3
Second Division
Atletico Espanol 1 Hendon
Hotspur 2
Bradford City 1 Marine 0
Crystal Palace 2 Merthyr
Tydfil 0
Gateshead Dynamo 4 South
Liverpool Red Star 3
Inter-Italiano 4 Crewe
Alexandra 4
Newcastle United 2 Newcastle
Blue Star 1
Sheffield Wednesday 5 Manchester
Newton Heath 1
Spartak-Slavia 2 Nelson
CBR 2
With the league championship already decided in Stalybridge Celtic's favour, attention was focussed on the other end of the table today, with Matlock Town needing to win at potential runners-up and Cup finalists Gainsborough Trinity, a squad motivated by the fight for a starting place in the final, and hoping that Marlow wouldn't prevail at faltering Blyth Spartans (the other Cup finalists next weekend) in order to leapfrog the deposed champions and escape the clutches of relegation.
Alas for them, although Marlow duly lost in Northumberland, a fitting end to a truly miserable campaign, Matlock failed spectacularly to capitalise, victims of an 8 - 1 trashing by Trinity - who thus confirmed second place and moved a point closer to Stalybridge after Celtic, in celebratory mood, were held by Manchester City - and will therefore accompany Oxford Excelsior, who enjoyed a valedictory victory over Northwich Victoria, down into next season's Second Division.
Elsewhere in the top flight, more goals flowed - eight at Wrexham as they beat hopeless travellers Mossley 5- 3, seven at Audenshaw as the Dynamo edged Hungaria 4- 3, and five each for Hartlepool United and Liverpool St Helens as they both signed-off in fine style with thumping to-nil victories.
The nerves again afflicted those jostling for promotion from the Second Division, all of which meant that, despite losing by a single goal at Bradford City, Marine still finished top of the pile and go up, while Spartak-Slavia's draw at home to Nelson CBR enabled them to accompany Marine in second place, staying that crucial point ahead of Crewe Alexandra after the latter could only earn a share of eight goals at Inter-Italiano, running out of time after at one stage being 1 - 4 behind.
At the opposite end, Newcastle United, controversially elevated to the second tier before the season kicked-off, beat city neighbours Blue Star but that ultimately wasn't enough to save them from finishing in last place, and demotion back to the regional leagues, as Crystal Palace rescued themselves with a vital 2 - 0 victory over Merthyr Tydfil, also enabling them to climb and finish above the South Walians.
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
European Cup 2014 - 15: Semi-Finals, 2nd Leg
Ferencvaros 3 Dubocica Leskovac 1 (agg. 5 - 3)
RWD Molenbeek 3 Karpaty Lvov 1 (agg. 6 - 2)
Saturday, 9 May 2015
Matchday 29 Results & Updated Tables
Championship
Audenshaw Dynamo 2 Stalybridge Celtic 2
Burnley 1 Hartlepool United 2
Hungaria 2 Liverpool St Helens 2
Manchester City 3 Oxford Excelsior 1
Matlock Town 5 Marlow 3
Mossley 4 Gainsborough Trinity 2
Northwich Victoria 1 Wrexham 1
Red Star Sunderland 2 Blyth Spartans 1
Red Star Sunderland 2 Blyth Spartans 1
Second Division
Atletico Espanol 3 Sheffield
Wednesday 1
Crewe Alexandra 2 Gateshead
Dynamo 3
Hendon Hotspur 3 Inter-Italiano 2
Manchester Newton Heath 6 Newcastle
United 0
Merthyr Tydfil 2 Marine 2
Nelson CBR 4 Crystal Palace 1
Newcastle Blue Star 3 Spartak-Slavia 1
South Liverpool Red Star 3 Bradford
City 2
Stalybridge Celtic confirmed as Champions, gaining the point they required at neighbours Audenshaw Dynamo, whilst the only team who could have overtaken them at the start of play, Gainsborough Trinity, were blowing their last chance with defeat at Mossley, who would never knowingly do Celtic a favour, of course - a thoroughly deserved triumph for Stalybridge, consistently the best team in the league and impressive winners of the title, their second but first in 30 seasons.
At the bottom, Matlock Town have given themselves a chance of avoiding relegation, even if they remain in the bottom two, by beating closest rivals Marlow in a 5 - 3 thriller, rendering Hartlepool's surprise win at Burnley critical to their hopes of survival too. Oxford Excelsior's virtually-certain demotion was confirmed by their defeat at Manchester City.
In the Second Division, things remain tight and the promotion places still undecided going into the final round, with only Marine of the top four picking up a point, although Sheffield Wednesday's defeat at Atletico Espanol rules them out of the equation now, whilst the bottom two were hammered.
Wednesday, 6 May 2015
European Cup 2014 - 15: Semi-Finals, 1st Leg
Dubocica Leskovac 2 Ferencvaros 2
Karpaty Lvov 1 RWD Molenbeek 3
Saturday, 2 May 2015
Matchday 28 Results & Updated Tables
Championship
Blyth Spartans 2 Burnley 3
Gainsborough Trinity 1 Northwich Victoria 0
Hartlepool United 2 Hungaria 3
Liverpool St Helens 1 Stalybridge Celtic 2
Marlow 3 Red Star Sunderland 1
Mossley 1 Matlock Town 1
Oxford Excelsior 0 Audenshaw Dynamo 2
Wrexham 3 Manchester City 2
Second Division
Bradford City 3 Crewe
Alexandra 2
Crystal Palace 2 Newcastle
Blue Star 2
Gateshead Dynamo 3 Hendon
Hotspur 2
Inter-Italiano 3 Sheffield
Wednesday 3
Marine 4 South Liverpool Red Star 2
Nelson CBR 1 Merthyr Tydfil 0
Newcastle United 4 Atletico
Espanol 2
Spartak-Slavia 3 Manchester
Newton Heath 2
A massive and probably decisive result at the top of the Championship today, with leaders Stalybridge Celtic's hard-fought but thoroughly-deserved 2 - 1 victory at the home of closest challengers Liverpool St Helens putting them 5 points clear of now-second-placed Gainsborough Trinity, who leapfrogged the Saints courtesy of a single-goal win over Northwich Victoria, and eliminating St Helens from the title race - only if Celtic lose both of their final two fixtures and Trinity win theirs (the next of which is at unbeaten-at-home - and close neighbours of Stalybridge of course - Mossley) will the latter be able to pip the former to the post, by the slenderest of margins, and Stalybridge's consistency in meeting the season's major challenges as they've presented themselves (not least beating each of Gainsborough, 4th-placed Blyth Spartans and now St Helens both home and away) suggests this is unlikely.
At the bottom of the table, Audenshaw's win at Oxford gives the Dynamo an excellent chance of avoiding the drop now, pulling them 4 points clear of Matlock, despite Town's valiant draw at virtually impregnable Mossley, and all but consigns the vanquished Excelsior to relegation, five points adrift of Hartlepool United and safety as they are.
A rare win in a season of increasing strife for reigning but soon to be deposed champions Marlow has given them the relative luxury of a three-point cushion over Matlock ahead of the teams' potentially-decisive meeting next Saturday, and might have gone a significant way to saving them from the ignominy of the drop, a fate that has only once previously befallen the defending title holders (Mossley back in 1997, although their form that season was more in keeping with the manner in which they'd begun their championship campaign, with 7 defeats from the first 8 games, only to miraculously revive. For the record, only the merger of the then two Nottingham clubs, and a consequent hastily-arranged play-off, had reprieved Mossley from relegation the season prior to that, so the three quarters of a season that resulted in the title was the real anomaly over that period of the club's history).
In the battle for promotion from the Second Division, previous leaders Crewe's narrow and contentious 2 - 3 defeat at Bradford City drops them out of the top two for the first time since round 11 back in mid-November, a potentially ruinous slip at this late stage, to be replaced by Marine - who emerged triumphant from a pulsating Scouse derby with South Liverpool Red Star - and Spartak-Slavia, last-minute victors over Manchester Newton Heath in a five-goal thriller.
At the opposite end of the table, Newcastle Blue Star's draw at second-bottom Crystal Palace allowed their city neighbours United, who beat Atletico Espanol 4 - 2, to gain within a point of Palace in their quest to avoid the wooden spoon and demotion back to the regional leagues - it's all set to go to the wire at top and bottom.
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